I can tell with exquisite precision that I have not come across any life-changing event filled with emotional and physical trauma. I have never experienced the loss of loved ones or extreme adversity in my life. Of course, almost everyone has suffered some kind of emotional trauma like breaking up, unsuccessful career, rejections, getting fired. People learn as life moves on from bumps and jumps. I consider myself lucky that I did not have to deal with extreme adversity or I overcame almost all hurdles so far I faced. I think that is the approach I learned and understood very well after reading the book. Option-B Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy By Cheryl Sandberg lean in Adam Grant. She described herself and her universe after her husband's death with extreme honesty and openness. Then she translated her heartbreaking story into the mighty but handy guide to build resilience. She went on explaining that how to fill the void with the option-B and how to deal with extreme grief. In fact, she chronicled the human capacity to suffer, face and thrive in the midst of pain and loss. I like to share that how I changed after reading this book over and over again. Seeking HELP is Okay No one is immune to a loss and sadness. I learned self-reliance along my growing up. I had a firm belief that I must not rely on anyone. This notion led me to think that I must not seek help. I had a complex that relying on other people makes me week and needy. If I am in any tragic situations, I withdraw myself from any company. Frequently I was getting personal and blaming myself, and eventually, I try to change my behavior and personality. I was falling into my own trap. I am facing mental haze every time I come across the similar situation. Instead, I started moving on with daily routine, as quickly as possible rather than trying to escape. I decided to talk about my pain every time I get a chance. I started working on to stop saying words like "never" and 'always." I started reaching out to professionals and psychologist to better understand myself. Optimism Optimism harbors unique value in human life. It is essential to see a cup half full rather than half empty. Instead of thinking how bad things happen, if I start thinking that how much worse things could happen? I started feeling better. Flourish optimism out of the good things you have rather than succumb to the loss. Turning to God I would not say that I believe in God, but in the painful situations, turning to god gives a sense of "being enveloped in loving arms that are eternal and ultimately strong." When people are in pain, they need a HELP button. Turning to GOD behaves like a support button in the absence of all resources. The only sense of having a support button, a person can sail through the storm oftentimes without actually having to use it. Identify THE ELEPHANT in the room This is the most important aspects if any of relatives or friend is grieving. I used to avoid talking to people who are grieving. I felt very awkward. Often I never call or text for an extended period.
I learned to overcome that elephant after reading the book. I learned to reach out who are grieving. People in pain always wanted to talk, it is us who are not asking them, and leaving them in their own twirl of sadness instead rescuing them.
Discussion about grief helps to overcome faster. A friend offering help and asking to reach out any time itself works as the support button.
Often, people acquire strength after an ordeal of any kind. They gain resilience and find joy.