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Beware! Are You trading your authenticity for approval?



I come across a friend who was seeking advice on her career path. She already completed her bachelor and now planned to pursue higher education. There is much of a problem that who she meets, she introjects and starts liking that profession. She does not have her original idea that what she would want to be. She already persuaded to get into a medical school without success, then statistics and after that public health and the business and the management. She is a classic example of what she does not know herself; not authentic and has not discovered herself. In fact, originality is rejecting the conventional and exploring own. Now the truth is, I had been in similar situations and learned over time that self-authenticity is extremely important rather than living in the discomfort of lie and immorality. Over time, I learned that I must own my deeds, live within means so that they align with my beliefs, needs, and happiness. I tried many times to act, to do something which I am not. I moved to maintain external force, peer pressure, and social status. I failed; my actions were not to be optimum, and often embarrassments. I learned, to be authentic by peeling off my layers one by one, moving on from my failures, and as I grew, I heal, educate and started to love myself more and more. It's a lifelong process to learn and to be the self-authentic person. It takes courage, self-confidence to be who you are despite skeptics and reactions from people. Remember, criticism and skeptics are their limitation and not stop us from what we are. Authenticity is invaluable and constructive. We would trust people who are phony and not self. It is crucial to identify authenticity, and it is not rocket science. Any spurious can imitate authenticity; It is always worthwhile to look who is behind that mask. So How to spot an authentic person out of the masked crowd? Self-Confidence. Self-confidence is a virtue. They have a real sense of self. They know what others are thinking about them, and their carelessness is guarded. They have high self-esteem and nothing to hide, so they don't have a fear of getting found out. They are the same as they appear to be. They are capable of accepting own fault without finger pointing to others. When they seek help and advice, they never imply without adequately fact-checking on them. The Depth of conversations. Their conversations are thoughtful at the very personal level. The intensities of seriousness in their discussions are frequently mixed with a very light well pointed non-hostile humor. Even humor has deep meaning in their talks. They prefer to discuss ideas, mind, and research over celebrity gossip and judgmental chatting. They listen to others not just to respond, but to fully understand their views with genuine interest. Motivation. Authentic people just does not sit staring and thinking. They do; they act and prevent the carrot-and-stick approach. They have passion and purpose to stay busy with it. They have a proper realization of self and do not get trapped in denial. They try to get the best out of any situations. They can share their unique thoughts, feelings, and views without fear of other’s opinions. Express true feelings. They express sincere feelings, freely, openly and apologetically, even though they are not popular. They are just not capable of acting in a way that is contrary to what their principles dictate, also though there are repercussions. They know the importance of being aware, acknowledging, and expressing their unique thoughts, feelings, and views of the world. Help others to be Authentic. They help others to be authentic and express their ways. It's always friendly advice "be yourself" than presenting examples. Genuine people set self-examples. They are quick to get rid of harmful and disrespect people. They harbor an ocean of self-respect and, they cannot be put up with those who treat them poorly.

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