Have you ever stopped yourself saying NO? Repeatedly? Even if you can't accomplish, but still, you said yes, just because the person would be sad and would not like you? or Have you withheld or changed decisions because your decisions would make someone unhappy and may hate you? If you have done any of this you are a people pleaser and you are killing yourself and your career. You are selfish to earn short-term likability over long-term ( mental )health and success. You can be an unhappy person as well. Of course, everyone is compelled to help to their extent in emotions, in love, and in a relationship. That is not called people pleasing. Why? The desire to help is a factor when you act in emotions and affections, whereas willingness to please, the fear of the sour sentiment, or judgment and temptation to receive a positive one. What makes you be a people pleasure? It varies from actual psychological issue to little confusion in understanding kindness. Some had a bad experience of maltreatment for an extended period of time. They adapt dependent personality and hope for better treatment was to try to please the people who mistreated them. Some have issues with self-worth, and they want to feel liked and accepted. Some people are just confused with kindness. They just don't want to be egocentric and uncaring. How People-Pleasure Ruins EVERYTHING? Mental Health Deterioration. You start ignoring yourself in efforts to spend enormous energy to please others. You may be a victim of passive-aggression and unexpressed anger towards others. Lost Self Identity. The fear of disapproval becomes so immense, and preoccupation of people pleasing to get approval can lead to loss of self-objectives and goals. Being Used ( Sometimes not for Good) The weak and flexible baseline for pleasing and low self-esteem itself expose to be used, overused and abused. It is a self-drawn, unconscious toxic cycle. It is always worthwhile to remember that,
It is okay not to be liked by everyone, and that is perfectly normal.
No one but only you can establish your worth.
Be sympathetic to self.
Self first is not a selfish behavior.
P.S. If you enjoy reading, Please Share.
1 min 27 sec Reading time 2 min 48 sec Speaking time