Failed? Look Inside Out first!
Life does not consist of a straight line and a smooth path. There are turns and bumps along the way. Although most people always hope that every corner of life is desired and happier than the previous one, not all shifts are expected and pleasant. The outcome of every life event is attached to emotions, identity, and comfort. When an event is desired within the comfort and boost identity, people are overjoyed but when a situation takes a downturn and becomes undesired, pulls out of convenience and threatens identity then fear, defeat or helplessness sets in. A person at this point may start to look for alternative support like spiritual and emotional support because it may not threaten their identity, maintain privacy, and comfort is preserved. Have you ever thought that we can change the outcome of any event by changing perception, accepting out of comfort situations and by being open to self and going easy on a person? I know a friend, who want s to write and make money by writing the product review. He even built a web page. He was talking to make "lots of money" and started writing about it but never continued. His reasons have the consistency that I am busy with an important project. So what went wrong here? Writing reviews about any products and creating a blog is an excellent idea and he has a potential to make a decent amount of money. There are few things I can think of. The dream of being rich and famous threatened himself. The identity of being rich and famous contradicted own sense for himself. He has the exact same fear of success as fear of failure.
There are excellent opportunities all around us that we pass up because those opportunities may endanger our own view about ourselves. He continuously dreams of being rich. Consciously thinking about the same status threatens himself from getting there. The unanswered questions add more threat to his success. What he will answer when people will ask what are you doing? Or How the society will judge him? Or even worse what if he may not have any date because of this? We all have some kind of rigid picture of ourselves. Changing that sense is hard. We protect that picture of us behaving in society very fiercely. We justify for doing something or not doing something and unfairly biased towards what we already know what we are and what we know. So basically "definitely knowing self" can prevent from striving and exploring different territories in our life and make you stuck in a strict role of your own expectations. Eliminate Yourself. The first thing to do is Kill yourself in your own head. Do not keep prejudice that you can be this or you can be that. Instead, evaluate every situation on a case by case basis and at your best. Buddhism suggest that there is no " You." It is an arbitrary mental construction and that you should let go of the idea of "You" exist at all. What defines you is actually trapping you and stopping you from the notion of thinking large.
So if you stop telling and stop convincing yourself from "you," that notion prepares to act in life and grow. So when you free yourself from the fear of disturbing your comfort and identity, you actually start working without caring for people and society and start living for your self.
Don't wait for Lucky Break.
The attitude of "who cares" is equally important. It is the good trait to own your results but continuously feeling trapped and responsible for unfilled accomplishments is just not good. Continue the attitude of "who cares" and start working in the direction of goal instead of waiting to catch a lucky break. If you look closely, those who caught lucky break had a long history of hardship and pain.
In conclusion, anything works if you want to grow, do not get trap in the stereotype of self.
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