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Happiness and Grief: A Collision of Irony



Psychologist and sociologists define happiness when a person weighs in the overall quality of life as positive. That means a person likes the way experience is working out at present and future perspectives for growth. Happiness is a skill. It is not gifted it is acquired and endured by practice and pain. There are many incidents in life which sneer happiness and joy in life. It becomes extreme to maintain happiness and inner peace in the wake of any terrible life event. A Case to Fight Grief A person who is in palliative care is an exemplary example of the process. His own intellectual and ability to deal with the grief determine his own happiness irrespective of outcome from the disease. Any person with knowledge of having non-treatable, irreversible end-stage disease is fighting for survival every single day. Human survival depends critically on the different facets of the human psyche, decision making in one’s day to day life, and cultural and religious beliefs. Denial When, for the first time, any person receives terrible news and the possibility of poor prognosis, typically that person will pass through different stages of grief. Starting from shock, transitioning to denial and even blaming the medical personnel, system, or test suggesting “it must be a mistake” to the immediate setting up of depression and finally acceptance of the current situation. Now the stages of grief, duration of each step and its effect on the overall health of a person depends on firstly personal life experience, to some lesser extent family dynamics, and sometimes their religious beliefs. In most grieving people, their denial quickly turns into the acknowledgment of the reality of a situation. But in dissent, one often welcomes anger and in some cases bargaining, particularly in health-related issues. Anger and Escape Next two stages of grief are more often associated with the quality of the life of the griever. Depression sets in at some point for almost every grieving individual. It depends on positive personal life experience, mental health history, and education level, which can prevent an individual from succumbing to depression.

This mental state plays an instrumental role in directing the perspective in either direction. Either Acceptance or Escape. Those who can not rescue themselves from the dread of sadness, they proceed towards bargaining. They agree to do anything that helps them to escape the physical pain. Many patients are opt-in for alternative and magical treatment ending up in despair. Suicidal thoughts emerge out of this situation.

A person with positive life experiences, higher critical thinking and education often lead to accelerated acceptance of adverse situations after taking time to logically evaluate a situation. This holds true in many cases except for those with a history of psychiatric disorders. This stage of grief may subsequently lead a person to focus on overall health and “ living life in the present” when not falling into a depression.

Acceptance Acceptance of almost all irreversible situations does not transcribe into a loss of optimism. But with categorical evaluation of the situation followed by recognition can lead to a superior quality of life and happiness in the remaining days before eventual death. Also, it can be a part of the admiration and futility of existence. It also gives an opportunity to accomplish any remaining desires for one’s life. Acceptance of painful situation, in this case, is not a surrender but a brave decision to endure the rest of life and accept the eventual coming of the end of life. It is tough particularly in hospice care, where all the surrounding patients are equally receiving some kind of the end of life comfort care. Try to identify the difference between pain and grief. Figure out what is giving anguish and taking away happiness and what is giving somatic pain. So recognize suffering, eliminate its source. Practice every day; eventually you will feel the pain associated with the disease, but the grief is erased. 2 min 21 sec Reading time 4 min 34 sec Speaking time

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Some helpful tips in grievance when a person is in palliative care

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